Being Sold

Do you think that your teacher is “the one”? Has he (or she) convinced you to only take lessons from them? That they have the only RIGHT way to teach dance? Ballroom dancing in America (more so than Europe) has a long history of being part of the hard sell. To the point where it is even considered on the same level as used car salesman.

Now I know you’re thinking, I’m not gullible. I’m not easily manipulated. Social psychology professor Robert Cialdini has done a lot of research into this topic (and has a great book: The Psychology of Influence). Part of his research involved being a used car salesman, a door to door encyclopedia salesman, a waiter, and yes, even a ballroom dance instructor. (His book is required reading for most Marketing majors.)

So, what do you think… out of someone who has a strong will, someone who has an average will and someone who is weak willed, which one of them is most manipulatable? Most people say it’s the weak willed one. But the actual studies point to the fact that it’s the average person that is more manipulatable. (Partially because they think they’re not vulnerable.)

Things people fall for

Or perhaps “things I’ve fallen for”

Or perhaps “things you can use to get more students”

Teachers with a heavy sense of “Right” and “Wrong”. Some teachers will fill their lessons with “always do this” and “never do that” and “this is right” and “that is wrong”. The simple advice is this: don’t walk away from those teachers, RUN! That style of teaching fulfills a certain sense of security people are looking for. In a way it’s feeding on people’s insecurity. In the long run, there really aren’t any absolutes in dancing. It is art, it is about learning rules and then breaking rules. It’s about creating style, not boring robots. It’s not about learning right and wrong – that’s a waste of time! It’s about doing the work – training the body to physically move well – it takes time and physical effort, muscle building and learning muscle coordination. Classic sales line: “Oh you should take lessons from teacher ABC, because you don’t want to learn it wrong do you?”. Bonus points for wording questions with negatives or double negatives because that’s been found to be more effective manipulation.

Emphasizing style over technique. Classic Sales line: “Oh don’t take from teacher ABC, because they competed in (American Style/ International Style/ Smooth/ Ryhthm/ Standard/ Latin) and not (insert whatever style you want to sell here)”. People use this all the time in the ballroom world. I fell for this a couple times and avoided taking lessons from some really awesome teachers that really knew their stuff. The underlying technique of good movement is the same across just about everything. You might as well take lessons in ballet or modern or african or hip-hop. I often encourage my students to diversify. Do you really think that just one teacher has cornered the secret on understanding dance? I mean, really? Who do you think they learned from? Or how do you think they developed a unique style themselves without studying from multiple different sources?

Teachers that over compliment. Again, it’s feeding into something the student is looking for. (Acceptance? Acknowledgement? Desire?).

Teachers that over criticize. Some students will think, “Oh how wonderful, I have something to shoot for, I have work to do, I have a challenge.” This is a spot were a strong idea of work ethic can get you into trouble. Like I said earlier, It’s about the work. It’s about understanding the muscle development, the exercises to get there. It can actually be done very plainly and simply. Need to criticize? Not really. Need for guidance, yes definitely. Over criticalness can actually lead to worse performance, a lack of expressiveness, and a lack of play. All things that we really want more of in dancing.